LT Saloon

Inspection- Of Santa, Politics and Raising Children

Now the gifts are open and the tree about to be taken apart, or put out to the curb, shall we honestly approach that house invasion expert who somehow creeps down mostly invisible chimneys these days, escapes the flames of fire places and furnaces… and commits vandalism by altering the contents of our houses?

“Don’t tell them Santa isn’t real. Children need to be able to imagine, to dream.”

-Talk show host on Sirius Left

That reminds me of the director of a school I work with. When I told her about certain Montessori schools that teach as if Maria believed children under five weren’t ready to pretend, she said, “How are you going to stop them?”

Children will dream. They will imagine. We can’t stop them, though we can certainly plant the “bah humbug” seeds far too easily.

There are those who suggest we shouldn’t rob our children of Santa; that outright lying to our children has no blow back: doesn’t effect their later life or attitudes. Then there are those who think Santa should be banned.

I don’t agree with either stance. And I think this has a lot to do with what we think and believe: politically, socially and religiously.
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Inspection- Why Does Sarah Remind Me of Diane?

I have been thinking lately about Sarah Palin and, no, it’s not fantasy, has nothing to do with whips, chains or sex toys. God help me, Hell, no: I learned a long time ago I didn’t care for people like Sarah… and it had nothing to do with politics. Well, nothing to do with adult politics, but maybe whatever “politics” go on in a third grade classroom.
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Inspection- Winning in Afghani-scam

“Hey, Buddy, try this magic elixir. Cure all terrorism. Make a ‘country’ that’s less ‘country;’ more a bloody conglomeration of feuds between warlords and failed empire building, become an actual civilized, democratic representative, country. I call my magic elixir ‘American Naivete.’”

Would you call that a scam? Most likely, right? Why did so many otherwise wise people buy into it?

We might have a ever so slight chance to turn “Afghanis-scam” into a win in “Afghanistan.” But considering this column appears mostly on left-leaning sites, I promise, you won’t like it.

We already dropped the total BS excuses “get bin Laden” or “get rid of the Taliban.” The Taliban is stronger than they’ve been since they were in control of the country. And I bet the populace has a bit more sympathy for them. Not much, overall. But the underdog in an occupation always gets at least a bit more sympathy. It has been reported that many have been saying, “At least we knew where we stood under the Taliban,” and they prefer how the Taliban courts deal out actual “justice;” predictably, though in the usual cruel fashion. With all the corruption, well let’s just say the rising stock of the Taliban is frustrating, but understandable.

So we didn’t go in to get rid of the Taliban, or capture bin Laden, or even get rid of al Qaeda, since we left Tora Bora to warlords; some who actually sympathized with them. And we probably aren’t going to become beloved and worshiped occupiers. After, how many years have we been in Iraq and Afghanistan? How many years has there been conflict in Afghanistan out of the past 30 years or more? How long have others been in there and then failed?

Here’s how we might win…
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Inspection- My Birther Moment

Local pub, discussing politics with friends. We’d never “gone there” before with this couple. Ah, to go where no Ken has gone before…

Suddenly we’re having a birther moment.
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Inspection- Gore vs. Kerry: When Lefties Act Like Neo-Cons

Neo Cons often live in an alternate universe where Barack has nothing proving he’s a citizen, Saddam never let the inspectors in and unknown, hidden, WMD that Saddam listed was found in Iraq. I remember with disgust their sneering at “the reality based community. We make our own reality.”

Yeah, and so does the guy in the jacket who has to live in a rubber room. And for eight long years we were locked in that room with him; in fact a whole bunch of “hims” and “hers.” When we were released we came out to, not one Vietnam, but two and economy that had been raped; hopefully not beyond repair.

I used to think it was the Right that had morphed into this insane persona. But I’m beginning to think some on the left are just as delusional. They certainly seem to let their hatred rewrite history just like the Right does.

Example: Al Gore vs. John Kerry.
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Couple Arrested: The Story

From Philadelphia.com After this story you will find posted an Inspection on this topic.

If you’re frustrated by poor service at a restaurant, think twice before you decide to not tip. You may be in for a bit more than just a dirty look from the waiter.”

“Nobody, nobody wants to be forced to pay a tip or be arrested for terrible service,” Leslie Pope said when her happy hour ended in handcuffs.

Pope and John Wagner were hauled away by police and charged with theft for not paying the mandatory 18 percent gratuity totaling $16 after eating at the Lehigh Pub in Bethlehem, Pa. with six friends.

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Inspection- When Restaurants are Turkeys

The story regarding this incident was posted before this column. You will also find it under Inspection/Columnists.

Here’s my tip: if you run a restaurant… having a couple arrested because they refuse to pay a mandatory tip for really bad service is a rotten idea.

One hopes for this restaurateur’s business tanks. One also hopes, for the sake of employees not involved in this fiasco, it doesn’t; they just get a new owner.

If you plan to dine out for dinner Thanksgiving time I would also look at your bill and restaurant policies very carefully: today; perhaps before you go. Stop by: look over the menu for caveats. Call. Ask. If they have policies anything like this place: eat elsewhere or have the more traditional, at home, meal. Don’t be scared to ask…

“Have you ever had anyone arrested for not paying a mandatory tip?”

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Inspection- The Puzzle

When I first joined the writing staff at The Puzzle it was called Political Pulpit. “Puzzle” came later. I was glad, simply because “pulpit,” to me, had unintended religious implications. For a short while it was Political Penguins. I never did figure out how penguins and the concept were copacetic, except the little buggers keep insisting on jumping into half frozen water while splashing each other. Sometimes I wonder if splashing each other with ice water as they dive in is intentional. Sounds almost as stupid as some of the things posters said to each other during the worst Puzzle postings. Always reminded me of some of the antics of the characters in the movie Idiocracy.
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Inspection- Leaves

Here at Emerald Dawn; the name I chose for my own little valley outside of Nashville almost 30 years ago, the leaves have almost all drifted to the ground. You can finally see the old horse barn we have never used in the little “holler,” as they refer to it in Tennessee, up the hill towards the old farm pond filled with trees. The former owner never checked to see if there was a cave below the pond water might drain into… no matter what he did. Hey, a stagnant farm pond is not what I consider a great idea anyway, so: more trees, more leaves… all the better for me.

Personally I’m not sure I could tell an elm from an ash, but I love trees for the artists they are. Together; each in their own unique way, they paint a living, moving canvas no artist has ever quite been able to match.

A few leaves still dangle from the trees at Emerald Dawn: desperately trying to shine just a little more: like my father, my mother, hoped for just before they passed away. As we all know the changing colors are the last beautiful gasps of what was once new, young and green. Sometimes I like to imagine them crying as they fall: knowing tis the end… for now.

I wish the end of life were that astonishingly colorful for us. Soupy Sales, who died recently, fell apart slowly, as most of us seem to do, eventually. The end wasn’t pretty for my mother or father. Personally, I hope to find myself under a bank safe dropped from a 15th story window and I don’t hear it coming.

There’s something to be said for sudden and quick. It’s rare that long lived souls get the respect and the myth built around them that the JFKs, the Martin Luther Kings and the Jesus Christs do. One wonders if Christ would have ever become the force for both good and evil that he did if he had lived into his 50s. Would he have been yet another in a long list of forgotten religious leaders? Would his sermons have included blessings to help backs bend better once you reach the age when “everything is down there?” Would plastic surgeons sue because he eliminated wrinkles by mere touch?
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Inspection- Sports Truths, or Unwarranted Sports Assumptions?

“…the psycho-social aspects of sport are that it helps siphon off aggression from certain sorts of people. In that, it’s useful to prevent those types from taking out their aggression in other less seemly ways, so sports do serve some limited constructive social purpose.”

-RS Janes; co-editor and co-owner: LT Saloon

Is this sound science, or psycho-babble we have come to believe? Something between the two?

I have heard this claim, far less well phrased, many times. I am sure that at least a few children who grew up involved in sports may have had some aggression siphoned off. How many? How much? Good questions. Is there any solid proof that this actually happens to a greater extent than sports encouraging more aggressive attitudes towards others off the field? Is it possible that sports offers a confirmation; a form of acceptance, that some geekier, “stranger,” less “acceptable,” kids may not get at all?
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