LT Saloon

The News Pauper: The Next Crash

By W.B. Dunne

The News Pauper begs everyone’s pardon for his slackery. It is merely the fact that he is B.R.O.K.E., as in poor, and has been forced to hustle like a bowery boy to heat his hearth and get a little in his stomach. I have not started to sell off my little sundries for scraps as of yet, but it is imminent. I am not alone…a friend is surviving this crap by living in his car and calling a forty-dollar day scavenging for change on the street lucrative.

The News Pauper knows what is lucrative…stealing an entire country’s wealth by rigging a Florida election and installing a president with the help of a crooked Supreme Court…throw in the approbation of a lapdog media, and before we know it we’re starting a devastating illegal war, and terrorizing all of America and the world with torture and outright murder.

In the eyes of the NP, this is just the start.

The meme in the media is that Obama is simply blaming everything on Bush. There is much more to this than meets the eye. Everything that Obama does carries much more authority because he was actually in fact elected! The righty media have done all they can to question the legitimacy of Obama’s presidency…they attempt to inflict the thousand cuts in any and every way they can. But, as is always the case with these asses, it is really a mass exercise in projection. This is all proof to the NP that they know that their guy was illegitimate, and that their entire platform is a farce.

There is a startling rumble in the ground that is guaranteed to knock the earth off its axis; it is called the collapse of the commercial real estate market. We proles will be taken out by the millions. The power grubbers have set it up to coincide with the midterms this fall. Any piece of news will be framed to blame the current administration. By October there will be such an astounding degree of misery in the streets that it will be a miracle if there are not widespread riots. I think that the increase of off-account militias and violent rhetoric spreaders like Beck and Limbaugh will present a particular problem to legitimate law enforcement because any action they take against these rebels will be distorted into a message that is already positioned…namely, that Obama wants to disarm the populace and enslave them all.

It has always been the opinion of the NP that if one needs to know what the right is planning for our future, all that is necessary for one to do so is to look at what they are accusing the opposition of doing. If this is really the case, they have big plans indeed. One needs only to spend a minute or two with the purveyors of the propaganda to be greeted with the images of concentration camps, slavery, the complete abolition of the social gains of the twentieth century, and the spectre of the basics of humanity being reserved only for the rulers of us all.

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The News Pauper: The Quiet Ones

By W.B. Dunne

It may be the status quo that the right-wing of the political spectrum in this country has bragging rights on who has the farthest out, most violent, stupidest supporters. In the entire history of this country it has always been the right that provides the most madness, the least progress, and the greatest potential for sudden violent action.

But the News Pauper maintains that we have reached an era where the old template doesn’t quite fit anymore. I have been witnessing a dynamic I am unfamiliar with. Never before has the apparatus for disseminating hatred and misinformation had such a heavily greased track to ride on. I wonder if the stirring I feel is the awakening of a real Godzilla.

Could it be that all the overkill engaged in by the likes of Fox and friends has gone too far and desensitized its target market? They have an apparatus that Goebbels would have recognized and slobbered over, but is the incompetence with which they operate their undoing? It is no longer necessary to invoke the cry for authoritarian tyranny through the false flag. One can traumatize just as severely without giving the masses as much as a hangnail, through the mass media, which the right controls.

My little column and my articles reach perhaps as many as several people. However, if I get one comment affirming my premise, I can assure myself that I haven’t wasted anyone’s time. If it were otherwise, I would hope the large readership I was addressing was equally discerning. What will happen to this machine that seems to undermine its own existence? A tool designed to educate cannot be long applied to a purpose opposed to that result. You wouldn’t use pliers to hammer a nail, right?

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The News Pauper: The Prevailing Winds

by W.B. Dunne

So, another column from the un-deadlined News Pauper. What shall I dish on this week? There is the Sarah Palin crib note controversy…which is ever so handy for the right, by whom it was no doubt manufactured, seeing as their candidate can’t support even the limited role assigned to her. That is, it is far too late to distance themselves from her, and the Astroturfers can’t have the “ideas” of the candidate exposed…because she hasn’t any. It is clear to any trained eye that the time that has passed since the election of ‘08 has had little effect on Sarah’s ability to retain even the most cursory knowledge of the movement she leads, let alone the details of the grave responsibilities that will attend the culmination of her “goals”.

If the NP hadn’t lived through the massive disconnect of the Carter/Reagan election, where treason was undoubtedly committed by the GOP by dealing arms for hostages while nothing happened to the perpetrators of the crime…while the face of the party was a doddering throwback to the propaganda films of the fifties…I would mock the idea that the corporations would back such a twit as the quitting governess of our northernmost state. I am compelled to warn and cry out beware to anyone that will listen. I am feeling like I am up against the evil of our last century, and that evil grasps like the horrible zombie it is for a role the coming one.

The entire affair is a creation of a series of myths that will be heavily relied upon to forward the narrative that our overlords need in place to further their domination of our discourse…to the ends that only a certain class will have the ability to realize their potential. It is no less than an attempt to turn America into an aristocracy of sorts. Our citizens have been so effectively dumbed-down under the watch of the Republicans and corporatists that are more concerned with what is vended in the school machines than what is taught to the students… and what is fed to the masses by the corporate media… that they are rendered little better than serfs.

There is a difference in our current dilemma; the Dark Ages of the past were peppered with corresponding myths for the rulers. That idea of noblesse oblige, that you were born into the gentry by an act of god and you were to repay your good fortune to god by the tender mercies you disposed on your inferiors, is woefully absent in the minds of our would-be rulers today. We will be crushed and starved into submission without pity or remorse, because a corporation can’t feel, and that relieves the CEO of the guilt of his actions. Profit is the god they worship, and your little life carries no weight at all. Sarah Palin is too stupid to realize she is being used to accomplish these goals. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was martyred in time to catalyze some future electorate by the same masters she serves now. That’s the trouble with becoming servile and relinquishing your independence blindly…you make yourself utterly expendable.

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The News Pauper: Great Work, Obama!

By W.B. Dunne

Tonight was the State of the Union speech I’d been waiting to hear. Without once losing his composure, Obama stood down the bullies across the aisle and showed them for what they were. His pacing and eloquence was worthy of the great orators of history this country has contributed to the world.

I felt like I was watching the beginning of the Civil War! And just to show how the other guys are thinking, the Republicans decided to broadcast their response from the chamber where Jefferson Davis presided over the Confederacy. The response speech itself was peppered in stale old platitudes, and was delivered as if the speaker was taking great pains to hide his realization that the situation was grim. Speaking of painful, it is truly sad to see the pathetic choreographed camera shots containing the compulsory racial tokens. Don’t these producers think before they shoot? Or, do they simply go by some book?

I don’t know if Barack Obama saved any souls tonight, but his speaking style was reminiscent of some of the sermons I’ve heard given by a man called ‘The Reverend’ C.L. Fairchild. Possessing simultaneously tones of gravity and humor, the dear old Rev. used to captivate my imagination and attention. Whether he was admonishing or encouraging, one got the sense that he was for real and was always trying to help. Even in the face of failure or adversity, The Rev.’s grace in accepting God’s will showed through.

The NP spins his wheels and waits for the better days, and it surely helps when one can look at the TV and see a man that has committed himself to solving the biggest problems for the smallest people. It is wonderful to think that maybe the fact that there isn’t some stupid drunk cowboy giving away the ranch and acting like a king in office will improve our chances at healing our image.

It was inspiring to hear him call out the Supremes for their ill-advised overturning of the campaign finance laws. It was inspiring to hear the Joint Chiefs of Staff being told that the war in Iraq was over. It was inspiring to think that the Military finally has a Commander-in-Chief that won’t grind them into grist at the drop of a hat.

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The News Pauper: Shortest Post Ever

by W.B. Dunne

Shortest. Post. Ever.

What’s the dif between a corporation and a person?
A corporation can kill a person.

Contact the News Pauper at WBDunne@ltsaloon.org

© 2010 W.B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.

The News Pauper: A Day At The Racists

By W.B. Dunne

The video is provided here in case any of you are masochists, or desire to share the NP’s disgust. It is without a doubt a record for the most bullshit contained within a 6-minute clip…ever.

The clip begins with Glenn Beck stating that he doesn’t know if anyone returns from Washington with “his soul”. The stagecraft is very odd…the Statue of Liberty not so casually holds her lamp over Glenn Beck’s head in a sheltering, blessing gesture. Those of us in the image biz can certainly appreciate the subtlety of appropriating the symbol of America’s commitment to liberty to setup the scripted softballs for Sarah fucking Palin.

Incidentally, that location shot was weird. Did Fox have to mount a trailer on a billboard tower in the Jersey swamp to get that angle?

Within the one-minute mark the Wasilla wannabe makes 12 ‘mmm’ noises, and brings forth eleven whole words. Fox apparently thinks the less said the better. I give it a week before some enterprising dubster creates a mashup of these ‘mmmm’s’!

Sarah is magnificently clueless or in on the game. She knows, or must suspect that the “George Washington” that Glenn so slyly refers to is not and can never be her. He is setting the stage for a strongman to claim the constituency of the teabaggers. Who in the military is positioned to affect a coup? Is Glenn dictator shopping?

The fact that the father of our country would pound the little fascist Glenn Beck into a pewter cup to soak his wooden dentures in eludes the quitter governor of Alaska. I don’t want to subject you dear readers to any worse torture than already is a reality by the mere existence of these evil charlatans, but just look at the smirk on the quitter’s face at the top of this clip! The News Pauper defies any reasonable thinking human being that maintains that she doesn’t know the script is nothing more than just a script.

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The News Pauper: The Year 2009

By W.B. Dunne

The News Pauper hails the departure of a very bad year! This pathetic span that has just passed has stood alone in its grotesque ridiculousness. From the advent of the Sarahcuda to the appropriation of the word teabagging for something nowhere near as fun as what the original indicated…2009 held its own as king of the aughts! The New Year’s Eve eve news that Rush Limbaugh was hospitalized just seems too contrived to be real…the story of the Nigerian with the unfortunate handle “the underpants terrorist” also stinks of conspiracy. Do I smell yellowcake?

It is a season of reflection and prognostication for the whole of humanity. It bears tolerance then, for my first prediction, which is not really a prediction at all, but mere common sense. The NP thinks that El Rushbo shall be ministering to his Dittoheads in record time. He will reap a huge surge of ratings and reclaim his share from the upstart Beck. This entire affair is as sleazy a ratings game as ever has been. I await with great anticipation these two massive vanities, two titanic Asses, vying for the action in the footlights. Diva a Diva. Rush’s first show back will feature the crucifixion of the liberal website commenters. He will claim that the left is as vicious as the right and that he is justified in hating first, due to the (earned) hatred in the remarks of his detractors regarding his attack. I will watch with intense delight, because the fight that ensues will occur between the teabaggers themselves, and will weaken them further.

There are other indicators that the NP sees with his swell-trained eye. The idea that the next decade of the millennia will surpass the last in its degeneracy has already been brought up, so the NP feels little compunction in calling bullshit! It will get worse alright, for the dinosaurs of the last century that cling to life along the margins of the aged and under-informed. There is a new day dawning for responsible leadership and the involvement of the populace that it will spawn. We are witnessing the passing of the retrograde fearmongering and incompetence, and the reversal of the degradation of our discourse.

Our economy has been showing some signs of life, our congress has been showing some fear of reprisal. Our corporations have shown some pangs of conscience, our discourse has shown some progress. The distance we have come in one short year with a president in office who, in spite of the task, demonstrates a level of diligence his predecessor wouldn’t comprehend, gives the NP such hope and succor that is hard to be grateful enough. The way that this leader measures up when the tough calls of the past year have had to be made, reinforces my belief that America will absorb the lessons of the past decade and thrive from the rejection of the policies of hypocrisy espoused by those who would happily destroy her. Our enemies are not without; they are within.

Finally, it would be an oversight not to make a hopeful new year wish that something comes along to silence forever the maw that is Dick Cheney. If any one man deserves the burden of the blame for all the hardship this American ideal has experienced it would be him. His avarice and ambition has landed him in an ideological prison as secure and inescapable as any Supermax. His servitude to the Bush family’s depraved dealings earns him his own special mark. He is Gollum, and into the fire he must eventually go.

Remember dear readers, that in spite of what TMZ says, in spite of the false flags and the fried pipers, progress marches along imperceptibly until we all arrive in the utopia of true harmony…failing that we shall all be hit by a massive asteroid.

Contact the author at WBDunne@ltsaloon.org

© 2009 WB Dunne. All Rights Reserved.

The News Pauper: What a year!

By W.B. Dunne

Arising from his obscure existence and coming again into the light … this is the News Pauper signing in to wish the readers a blessed holiday season. There has been little chance to think, let alone write. ‘Tis the season for video of people experiencing narrow escapes from trains, and frankly, it’s difficult to stop watching once you start.

As our educated and erudite readership clearly demonstrates, merely belonging to this site makes one prone to accusations of left-leaning politics. Those of us on the actual left of the politics available in the American spectrum chafe at this reality. What the main crux of the discussion on this and other liberal sites has been lately is that Obama has left liberals out in the cold.

I hate to be rude, but we “liberals” occupy territory well to the right of what once was the center. This is why I am so encouraged by the meme we have heard of late, every word in every byline about PO’d libs is another skitch towards the realignment this country’s discourse sorely needs. I don’t know that this is happening organically or if I can credit the boss, but whatever it is I can see good coming from it.

I most likely don’t need to remind anyone how the conservatives spent the past thirty years playing the oppressed victim while wielding a huge majority. Wasn’t it great when the Moral Majority got abortion banned just the way they promised they would?

From the wars to the economy to the environment, those ‘cons showed us how the people are ruled best that are ruled least. We must be extremely blessed indeed to have had no leadership at all for the past eight years.

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The News Pauper: Cheney is a Dick

By W.B. Dunne

In a way, the NP feels pangs of Christian sympathy for Cheney the Dick’s daughter, Liz. Imagine being bred in such an environment as the one that the unfortunate Ms. Cheney was reared. Imagine the resulting mental trauma of coming of age and discovering that your father was among the worst human beings ever seen.

It is wondrous to me that a personality can be subdued to the extent of Liz Cheney’s. In an attempt to capitalize on Eric Holder’s announcement that the Guantanamo inmates will finally see a judge, Liz went on Fox News to reach a new low in obfuscation of crime. Dick Cheney has so taken over his daughter’s independent thought that it would not surprise the NP in the slightest to discover that her real brain is in a vat somewhere, or that cloning is real and Dick has doubled his lifespan by installing his cloned hatred in his daughter’s handy corpse. Listening to this poor woman speak, I am reminded of a terrified 3-year-old trying to not incur the wrath of an abusive parent.

So, in addition to being a war criminal and traitor to his country, Dick Cheney will also to be able to claim the credit for all the damage he has imposed on his own flesh and blood. Dick Cheney’s madness, his deep need for the blood of innocents, will be remembered for its ghoulish excesses alongside the worst of history’s tyrants.

Such extremes of rhetoric can only imply a pervasive panic among the responsible, the Cheney’s in particular. They have all seen their comfortable margins evaporate. The cover that used to be there has inexplicably thinned to a veneer.

No doubt there is more to come…when the day finally arrives that the book is closed on the Cheney chapter of American history, our mirage of exceptionalism will disappear forever.

Viva Obama! This is turning out to be a great year.

Contact the author at WBDunne@ltsaloon.org.

© 2009 W.B. Dunne. All Rights Reserved.

The News Pauper: A Thing of Beauty

By W.B. Dunne

It is with particular delight that the News Pauper announces that Eric Holder is my new favorite Attorney General ever…

The announcement that the trial of 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed is to be held in New York City has led some on the right to say that the AG has granted citizenship to the terrorists. Bah – actually, this is shaping up to be the route Obama will have to take in order to reverse the precedents set by the past eight years of Cheney-mentia.

I had not thought of it at first, but what a completely brilliant way to flip the flow on the criminal mismanagement that has occurred. By having this trial to begin with, the system has a chance to heal from its wounds, the press will have little else to focus on, and the facts of the case will certainly expose the treason of the architects of the policy. The right-wing noise machine is already wringing its hands at the terror of terrifying terrorists, in NYC, by having a fair and impartial trial in broad daylight. This is because it creates a scenario that if the criminals get off on any technicality, it will be that they did not receive the speedy trial they, and we, deserved.

A hearty, extra helping of reality to the Bush-wreckers of the Constitution.

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