LT Saloon

Okay. That’s a difficult one. Here’s another: Which is more dedicated to the utter destruction of not only our experiment in government that reflects the will of the people (as opposed to government that is dictated by a corporate elite), but also the historical record of the past half century? Liz? Dick? Can’t decide? I understand. One more: Which Cheney is more hell-bent on abruptly ending the Obama presidency and replacing it with a right-wing totalitarianism that will make the Stalinist era of the old Soviet Union seem like a period of truth and justice? Still unable to choose? Completely understandable. They’re both so far out of their fucking minds the tether has snapped.

An example of Liz’s dedication to the nutty and extremely dangerous fantasies of her lunatic father – the war criminal who just keeps on going and going and going – can be found on the op/ed page of today’s Wall Street Journal a page that also is dedicated to terminating the Obama presidency. Under the headline ”Obama Rewrites the Cold War,” Cheney sets out to do exactly that. She first quotes Obama from his recent speech to Russian university students:

“The American and Soviet armies were still massed in Europe, trained and ready to fight. The ideological trenches of the last century were roughly in place. Competition in everything from astrophysics to athletics was treated as a zero-sum game. If one person won, then the other person had to lose. And then within a few short years, the world as it was ceased to be. Make no mistake: This change did not come from any one nation. The Cold War reached a conclusion because of the actions of many nations over many years, and because the people of Russia and Eastern Europe stood up and decided that its end would be peaceful.”

Then, reaching deep into her, um, . . . bag of tricks Cheney writes, “The basis of the Cold War was not “competition in astrophysics and athletics.” And, instantly, you gotta wonder what the reference is. Take another look at Obama’s quote. Do you see a sentence that reads “the basis of the Cold War was competition in astrophysics and athletics”? Uh, no. No sane person would see that. And no sane person would write that Obama said as much. Especially since the quote is right there. However, being able to see words that are not there, words that, to the rest of us, do not exist, is one of the defining characteristics of paranoid schizophrenia.

But, like her dad, Liz, in addition to being severely detached from reality, is a not-so-crypto-totalitarian. Liz seeks rigid discipline; order; screams; strict rules enforced by ugly stuff perpetrated in dark cells wherein harsh punishments and ancient tortures are delivered with no mercy.She continues: “It is irresponsible for an American president to go to Moscow and tell a room full of young Russians less than the truth about how the Cold War ended. One wonders whether this was just an attempt to push “reset” — or maybe to curry favor. Perhaps, most concerning of all, Mr. Obama believes what he said.”

Well, um, Liz, perhaps he believes what he said because, well, because . . . (how to say this so as not to make Liz wet herself . . .) because it’s the goddam truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liz is most pissed off, one can safely assume, by Obama’s statement, “The Cold War reached a conclusion because of the actions of many nations over many years, and because the people of Russia and Eastern Europe stood up and decided that its end would be peaceful.” And that, sports fans, is pure, unadulterated, left-wing mockery of the glorious age of Reagan – a period in which Dear Leader’s forceful actions against the Russian Bear (cruise missiles, unchecked spending on weapons systems, the mad fantasy of SDI, the “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!!” posturing) and not, oh hell, no, not the resistance of the Polish Solidarity movement, or the Belavezha Accords (the agreement which declared the Soviet Union effectively dissolved and established the Commonwealth of Independent States in its place) or the insane Soviet war against Afghanistan, brought the end to the Soviet Union.

And since Liz was deputy assistant secretary of state and principal deputy assistant secretary of state for near eastern affairs from 2002-2004 and 2005-2006 surely she’s familiar with the “Alma-Ata Protocol” signed on December 2,1 1991, which confirmed the dismemberment and extinction of the Soviet Union. The representatives of all the Soviet republics except Georgia and the three Baltic states signed this agreement and there is no record of their giving a shit whether Ronald Reagan or George H.W. Bush were or were not aware of what had just occurred.

Liz continues her goofy look at history: ”In Cairo, he [Obama] asserted there was some sort of equivalence between American support for the 1953 coup in Iran and the evil that the Iranian mullahs have done in the world since 1979.” Yeah, she actually wrote that: American support for the 1953 coup in Iran. Support? Support????!!! The coup in Iran was jointly owned and wholly operated by the US C.I.A. That overthrow of the democratically elected government of Iran on August 19, 1953, was supported and funded by the British and the U.S. The American operation came to be known as Operation Ajax here in the US. Surely, our Liz – the former deputy assistant secretary of state and principal deputy assistant secretary of state for near eastern affairs from 2002-2004 and 2005-2006 – would know the truth about our overthrow of the Iranian government, wouldn’t you think? Maybe not, though. She is a right-wing nut-case and any recent historical truths regarding US intervention on the side of tyranny and repression in so-called third world countries was supposed to be stuffed down the memory hole. Most of it wasn’t, Liz. Most of that bloody record still exists, your pappy’s efforts to the contrary notwithstanding. A real pisser, right? Hard to rewrite history when the truth just won’t go away. Makes all the lying by right-wing freaks like you so goddam difficult.

Is it possible that when Dick Cheney finally dies his daughter will cease her efforts to hide the lies and the fraud and the blood and the gore splashed across the planet by her sociopathic father? That, on the event of his death, Liz Cheney will revert to whatever mental state one dwells in when one must figure out how to deal with the fact that one’s dead father was a war criminal – and just shut the fuck up? Is that possible? Is there hope, finally?

- MDM

Michael Dennis Malloy (born July 1, 1942[1] in Toledo, Ohio) is a radio broadcaster from Atlanta, Georgia. He is now self-syndicated. Previously his show has been carried by WSB (Atlanta), WLS Chicago, the I.E. America Radio Network, the Air America Radio network, Nova M Radio and the On Second Thought network. (This blurb from Wiki.)

“I’ve made a few different types of beer, Oyster Stout, Smoked Salmon Porter, cider with hops. When I was in Saudi Arabia we made beer from near beer, and malt extract for malt bread.The most interesting beer was my ‘bista beer.’ I cleaned out the brew closet, bits of this, and bits of that. It fermented very hard for 3 week, then continued for 2 more. I bottled it and waited and waited.”

“It tasted like crap. Not wanting to dump it, I put it in the garden tin shed. Two years later, I needed the bottles… well, ya gotta try it. It was unbelievable smooth and very strong, like a Imperial stout on steroids.”

“It soon got its new name (Extract of Heroin) one bottle would do you in, even had hallucinogenic properties. We gave a six pack to the Red neck coon arse hunting club in Mississippi, never went back to find out what happened.”

Oh, and…

Billingham, England: hometown.

I remember telling him that one of my dreams was to live my life with my mouth open under a Young’s Brewery serving tank. Oh, and to add to the attraction, I think he was a bit more lit than I was.

Such a handsome man!

Wait, where am I going with this interview? What will our wives think of where I seem to be going? (Brush myself off and mutter, “Ewe!”)

I have judged beer with Phil and have found him professional as a judge and very discerning. I suppose it’s kind a dicotomy amongst judges. We can be both crazy and professional. But I imagine if your surgeon was wearing a huge pair of buttocks you might have some questions before the morphine took you off to La La Land.

We don’t need that. We have…

beer!

“I started brewing when I was about 12 or 13. My first brew was tea wine, hot tea, sugar, yeast… left under the stairs for 6 months. Then my younger brother and I drank it and got drunk for the first time.”

“Inspired by a TV show on making wine.”

I suspect that was probably before it was legal here in the States which was about 1979.

His suggestions for homebrewers…

“Plan the brew and brew the plan, if your going to make changes to a recipe, make small ones. Keep drinking and non-brewers to a minimum. Too many distractions won’t help you make better beer and if it does, you won’t know why.”

“Keep good records of recipes and brewing procedures, including ph, all water temps and times. Cover brew pots when transferring, if it’s not boiling cover it.”

“I will shoot CO2 into carboys before transferring, that way it don’t matter about splatter.”

Since we both judge I asked Phil what he like the most about competitions…

“You have got to enter competitions if you want your brewing to improve, one gold is never enough, then that elusive best of show. You will meet people to bounce ideas off, and answer questions.”

“Drinking other people’s beer is never a bad thing.”

…and the least…

“People that don’t fill out score sheets, or that write like a doctor.”

Well, having seen his answers in print now, I remember I did judge a salmon beer a while back. Now I’m not supposed to know whose beer is whose when I judge. I suppose someone else could have had a Salmon Porter, couldn’t they? Couldn’t they? But, just in case Phil, I think I probably filled the sheet out fairly well: I almost always try to at least. (After quite a while at a high octane table well… we all have our limitations.) And I certainly don’t write like a Doc. But if I didn’t do as well as I should have, just take three huge glasses of Barleywine in the morning and get back to me… if you can.

Considering how much we both love beer, I suspect this great brewer is up to the task.

Huge glasses of Barleywine.

Multiple award winning brewers Phil and Jody Kane live in Memphis, TN.

“You like it Gidget? The Almighty could have just done a ‘poof’ job, but I wanted the operation. Surgeon General Everett Flew Da Mass Breeder Chicken Koop does great work. Hey, mind if we call you ‘Taco?’”

“Sure. No problem, though I didn’t like them all that much.”

“Yeah, that’s why you’re here. We know you didn’t grind the rats for the tacos or the roaches for the burritos. You didn’t even want to be in Legally Blond 2.”

“So if Koop’s here, what about Reagan?”

“Silly Taco, demons aren’t allowed in Heaven.”

“You want to meet God?”

“Sure. Where is Ana Gararian? For years I’ve wanted to meet her to the MAX (SR.)”

“Shhh!!!! Don’t use either of those names or you might lose some personal organs. It’s almost as bad as revealing Scribe’s secret identity.”

“OK, so how is God doing?”

“Well, better, though she’s had to work a lot harder since her agricultural duties have been… FARMED… out. But she is getting ready to toss another column-based lightening bolt up the food producer’s wazoo.”

“Well, before I meet God, I gotta take a Taco wiz. Where’s a hydrant?”

“Silly Taco, no hydrants in Heaven and in Hell they LIKE fire.”

“Well I can’t hold it for eternity.”

“Oh, we can solve that. Just go over to Biggus Bush over there.”

“You mean Junior and Dick Cheney are here?”

“Well, for them, this is Hell. And don’t use Dick’s name. God’s still steaming from when he led the angel rebellion and started the worst franchise and mega farm ever: the Underworld!”

“But isn’t Biggus Dickus still alive?”

“Silly Taco. He only THINKS he is.”

Barley Wine should have at least a tad bit of sweetness to it, high alcohol; or at least the sense of it and a body to carry the style. This brew really seems to have none of these. I told my wife I wound up pouring it out. I have never done this with a Barley Wine.

Often there’s a slight slickness, though I’ve had some that have little to none.

The shame here is I’ve had many good beers from this fine brewer.

Needs a new recipe or to be called something other than Barley Wine. Just what, I’m not sure. Doesn’t seem to fit any specific category. The body doesn’t seem to be big enough to be a Scotch Ale, not enough hops for more hoppy beers. This is very confusing style-wise.

One website I visited said Rock Art claims it is a “mild” Barley Wine. But this isn’t enough to even be English, style-wise. Malts a bit too dark too. A cross between a Mild and Barley Wine?” Not really. Still not enough body or malt focus.

Needs recipe reformulation. Not “bad,” just unremarkable… whatever it might be.