Archive | February, 2010
How to Order a Beer in Fifty Languages
From etiquettesystems.com
“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” –Dave Barry
If there’s one universal constant in human society, it has to be alcohol. Rare indeed is the culture that hasn’t worked out the tricksy process of fermenting and/or distilling some type of vegetable matter — be it malted barley, potatoes, honey or grape juice — into a brew containing a significant percentage, as the dictionary puts it, of an “organic compound in which a hydroxyl group is bound to a carbon atom of an alkyl or substituted alkyl group.” In other words, booze.
Among the mildest and most variable of these alcoholic beverages is that fine elixir known as beer. A true beer connoisseur would never pass up an opportunity to try the local brew, no matter where on Earth where they found themselves, and so it behooves the serious beerologist to know how to order a beer in as many languages as possible. That’s why we’ve taken it upon ourselves to provide you with a handy guide on how to order a beer in 50 different languages. Where the pronunciation isn’t obvious, or in which the term is normally written in non-Roman characters, we’ve rendered it phonetically. Cheers!
One beer, please!
Afrikaans… A beer, ah-suh-bleef!
American… Brewski here, please!
Arabic… Waheed beera, meen fadleek!
Basque… Garagardo bat, mesedez!
Belarusian… Ad-no pee-vah ka-lee lah-ska!
“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” — Frank Zappa
Bengali… Eka handoiya, doya koray!
Bulgarian… Edna beerra, molya!
Catalan… Una cervesa, si us plau!
Cheyenne… Nok hee-sevo-tamah-peh, mas-eh-met-ah-no!
Chinese… Ching gay woh ee bay pee joh!
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.’” — Jack Handy
Czech… Pee-vo, pro-seem!
Danish… Yay vil geh-neh heh en url!
Dutch… Un beer, ahls-yer-bleeft!
Egyptian (Ancient)… Wekha henqet!
Esperanto… Unu bieron, mi petas!
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” — Abraham Lincoln
Estonian… Ooks ur-loo, pah-lun!
Finnish… O-loot moolek kee-tos!
French… Une bière, s’il vous plait!
German… Ein Bier, bitte!
Greek… Mee-a beer-a paraka-loh!
“Remember: I before E, except in Budweiser.” — Anonymous
Hawaiian… ‘Ekahi pia, ho’olu!
Hindi… Eka biyara, krupaya!
Hungarian… Edj pohar shurt kayrek!
Icelandic… Ay-dn byohr, tahk!
Interlingua… On bira, per favor!
“He was a wise man who invented beer.” — Plato
Irish… Byohr awoyn, lyeh doh hull!
Italian… Una birra, per favore!
Japanese… Bee-ru ip-pon, ku-da-sai!
Korean… Mayk-joo hahn-jahn, joo-se-yoh!
Kurdish… Dan min yek bire!
“Give me a woman who loves beer, and I will conquer the world.” — Kaiser Wilhelm
Lakota (Sioux)… Wan-jee m’nee-pee-gah, ee-yo-kee-pee!
Latin… Cervisiam, sodes!
Lithuanian… Pra-shau vie-na, al-lows!
Norwegian… Ehn url, tahk!
Old English… An beor, nu!
“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” — Stephen Wright
Pig Latin… One-ay eer-bay, ease-play!
Polish… Yed-no peev, proshe!
Portuguese… Uma cerveja, por favor!
Romanian… Oh beh-reh ver rohg!ody
We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. — Martin Luther
Scots Gaelic… Lyawn, mahs eh doh hawl eh!
Serbo/Croatian… Yed-no pee-vo, mo-lim!
Slovene… Eno pee-vo, pro-seem!
Spanish… Una cerveza, por favor!
Swahili… Moja pombe, tafadhali!
“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.” — Shakespeare, Henry V
Swedish… Ehn irl, tahk!
Twi… Mah-me bee-ye bah-ko, mee pow-che-oo!
Turkish… Beer beer-ah, luht-fen!
Welsh… Koo-roh ohs gwel-ookh-un-thah!
Yiddish… A beer, zeit a-zoy goot!
“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” — Dave Barry
About Etiquette Systems
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Beer Halls Around the World
by Professor Good Ales on Sun, Feb 28, 2010
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Beer hall at Cannstatter-volksfest: festival on the Neckar in the part of Stuttgart known as Bad Cannstatt.
Notable Quotables Caught at Random
by RS Janes on Sun, Feb 28, 2010
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Post a comment...“Conservatives could learn a lot from Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin. We should take a page out of her playbook and take a 9-iron and smash the window out of big government.”
– MN Gov. Tim Pawlenty (R-Classy) at the CPAC conference.“When I watch porn, if it’s not hot enough, I’ll make up back stories in my mind. My biggest dream is to write pornography.”
– John Mayer“I love the women’s movement — especially when walking behind it.”
– Rush Limbaugh, hiding his gayness, after judging the 2010 Miss America pageant.“You have become in some ways the voice of sanity on Fox, which is like being the thinnest kid at fat camp.”
– Jon Stewart to Bill O’Reilly on his Fox News show.“That is the last time I have sex with 200 middle-aged journalists. Europeans with wispy beards. The men were worse.”
– Ricky Gervais, hosting the 2010 Golden Globes Awards, kidding because his new movie received no nominations this year.“An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of the Lone Ranger.”
– Dan Rather“It ain’t what you know that hurts you, it’s what you know that ain’t so.”
– Satchel Paige“Those who ignore the Godzilla of reality will one day be stomped flat by the Godzilla of reality. Ask the Republicans.”
– Primo Hermosa“I think we risk becoming the best informed society that has ever died of ignorance.”
– Ruben Blades“Eternity’s a terrible thought! I mean – where’s it all going to end?”
– Tom Stoppard“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex. It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage – to move in the opposite direction.”
– Albert Einstein“Hi! I saw profile. You are so muscular and handsome I would like be meeting you soon for love time.”
– Spam Email from a Russian woman to Sen. Mitch McConnell.
Ye Olde Scribe Presents More Spam
by Ye Olde Scribe on Sun, Feb 28, 2010
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wiki
“Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it… damn stuff.”
Spam from the great white North: no relation to Ollie…
December 8 – 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I’ve ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplough came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!
December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow… Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry- we’ll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we’ll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I’ll never want to see snow again. I don’t think that’s possible. Bob is such a nice man, I’m glad he’s our neighbor..
December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplough came back this afternoon and buried everything again.. I didn’t realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I’ll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn’t huff and puff so.
December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4×4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife’s car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that’s silly. We aren’t in Alaska , after all.
December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should’ve bought a wood stove, but won’t admit it to her. God I hate it when she’s right. I can’t believe I’m freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20
Electricity’s back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplough came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they’re too busy playing hockey. I think they’re lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they’re out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they’re lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he’s lying.
December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it’s so cold, it probably won’t melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he’s too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn’t she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she’s lying.
December 24
6 inches – Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I’ll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I’ve just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25
Merry f—ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight – Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she’s a fricking idiot. If I have to watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” one more time, I’m going to stuff her into the microwave.
December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She’s really getting on my nerves.
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.
December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That’s the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.December 31
I set fire to what’s left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
Scribe adds, “Since I’m tied to the bed, how the HELL am I writing this?”
Ex-New Orleans Cop Pleads Guilty: Post-Katrina Shootings
by LT Saloon on Sun, Feb 28, 2010
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The Danziger Bridge (Fmr. New Orleans Police Lt. Michael Lohman inset) Courtesy wwltv.com
Justin Elliott for TPM
A veteran New Orleans police officer pleaded guilty yesterday to orchestrating an elaborate cover-up of a shooting in the days after Katrina in which police gunned down six unarmed city residents, killing two and seriously wounding four.
The development — which the Times-Picayune calls a “potentially devastating blow” to other officers linked to the case — is the first plea in a wide-ranging federal probe of several post-Katrina police shootings. The Feds are reportedly looking at possible crimes in both the shootings themselves as well as the subsequent investigations.
The Danziger Bridge shootings occurred on Sept. 4, 2005, just six days after Katrina hit. The victims were reportedly stranded on a part of Chef Menteur highway that was surrounded by flooding; the police involved were working out of a temporary station at a reception hall nearby.
In federal court Wednesday, former Lt. Michael Lohman plead guilty to one count of conspiracy to obstruct justice in the incident. He arrived on the bridge after a group of officers had opened fire at two groups of unarmed citizens, leaving Ronald Madison, a mentally disabled 40-year old man, dead from six gunshot wounds, and James Brissette, 19, dead from seven gunshot wounds.
In charge of supervising the police investigation, Lohman drafted a bogus 17-page report on the incident, and helped other officers prepare false reports that would agree on a single narrative. When another investigator planted a handgun at the scene, Lohman questioned him to make sure it was “clean.”
Lohman admitted “he knew that the civilians on the bridge had not actually possessed guns, and he knew that the investigator had also falsified statements by the civilians,” according to the government’s press release.
The seven police involved in the shooting itself claimed that they had come under fire after responding to a call that reported two officers had been shot in the area of the bridge, according to an account of the incident from ProPublica. The outlet has been investigating the incident along with the New Orleans Times-Picayune and Frontline.
After the police shooting, officers arrested Lance Madison — brother of one of the slain men — and booked him on attempted murder charges, alleging he had shot at officers. A grand jury later rejected those charges, according to the Times-Picayune, which has a useful timeline of the case here.
What actually happened, according to the Feds, is this: at least seven officers arrived at the bridge in a Budget rental truck. For unclear reasons, the police opened fire when they encountered on the east side of the bridge a group of six people heading to a supermarket to get supplies. That’s when Brissette was killed; Susan Bartholomew lost part of an arm, and her husband Leonard was shot in the head.
Then the officers traveled to the west side of the bridge and encountered the Madison brothers, who were headed to visit a family member’s dentistry office. Ronald Madison, who lived with his mother and, according to his brother, had the mental capacity of a young child, was shot five times in the back, an autopsy showed.
The police involved in the incident were out of uniform and heavily armed, according to the Times-Picayune. They later claimed that one of the victims had reached for a “shiny object,” according to the New York Times.
The seven officers involved in the bridge shooting were indicted on murder charges in December 2006, but the judge threw out the case in August 2008, citing a prosecutor’s violation of grand jury secrecy. The next month, U.S. Attorney Jim Letten launched a probe of the case.
It’s not clear whether the officers involved in the shooting itself could still face federal charges.
ProPublica has a lot more here on other questionable police shootings in the wake of Katrina.
Natural Gas with Un-natural Consequences
by Ana Grarian on Sat, Feb 27, 2010
A forum presented at Tompkins Cortland Community College 2/23/2010 on the inherent dangers of horizontal, slick water, hydro-fracking in CNY and the southern tier. Thank you to SHALESHOCK for providing this service.
The presenters were Ron Bishop, lecturer in Chemistry at SUNY Oneonta; Thomas Shelly, chemical safety and hazardous materials specialist; Adam Law, a physician who specializes in endocrinology. Dr. William Klepack, a family practice physician in Dryden, will be introducing the speakers.
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Brew Biz: Werts and All
by Ken Carman on Fri, Feb 26, 2010
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By Ken Carman
Ken Carman is a BJCP judge; homebrewer since 1979, club member at Escambia Bay and Music City Homebrewers, who has been interviewing professional brewers all over the east coast for over 10 years.
The Topic: Homebrew-based Special Events
One of the advantages of this odd life I carved out for myself over 20 years ago is that as an entertainer and an educational service provider I tour Mississippi to New England. That has allowed me to sit in Federal Jacks: Kennebunkport, while sipping beer styles first brewed and designed by Alan Pugsley: bottled by Shipyard, as I watch high priced sailboats float with the breeze in and out of the inner bay. I’ve also done a review on a brewpub in the French Quarter and become a member of Escambia Bay Brewers in Pensacola, made friends with some of the best brewers in that area, and sat with Greg Noonan at 7 Barrels while he bought me beer and asked my opinions.
I have never felt worthy but, hey, what the hell. What was I going to say, “Hell, no?”
But sometimes ignorance is indeed as grand as the grandest Cru, or Barleywine, if you prefer. Sometimes I’d almost rather not know. Almost. Yes, there’s always payback: finding out about events I have no way of attending, specially brewed one-off beers I’m told about but will never get to sample and homebrew events I’ll never, ever, get to attend.
Like an upcoming affair at Albany Pump House in, well, Albany, NY.
I’ve been to the Pump House and enjoyed their beer, but never went back. Why? Timing. Tour conflicts. Location, location, location: the same reasons I haven’t been to the big Ommegang festival they hold every summer… except Albany Pump House is downtown; hence parking. Parking south of Cooperstown isn’t a problem, if I get there early enough. Location? Another story.
So I’d love to sit and sip Pump House beer and join in a discussion group featuring pro-brewers: Olde Saratoga’s Paul McErlean, Ommegang’s Phil Leinhart and George de Piro the brewmaster from C.H. Evans.
I have admired Ommegang for many years, bringing bottles back, and advice for other pro-brewers from their brewers, long before Ommegang arrived in Nashville. And I didn’t even realize the brewer from Saratoga; which brews Mendocino, has brewed some of the great beers from Lowell Brewing Company and Schmaltz.
While writing this I thought about all the times I have passed by that brewery and never stopped. One of the problems of not being a local and always having some relative waiting for their southern-based kin to arrive. Think I sense there may be a certain specific Brew Biz arriving on your digital doorstep in the future. And I have fond memories of my one brief stop at the Pump House. I believe I spoke with the brewer that day, but never got a chance to stop again. I will. I will. I promise. Yet another Brew Biz to look forward to.
So on March 3rd, as you discuss homebrewing with three brewmasters, moderated by Joe Donahue from public radio powerhouse WAMC, remember there’s one homebrewer; a thousand miles away, drooling over a lost opportunity.
Hmmm. Homer says, “Beer drool.” Stay tuned for the next Brew Biz. Maybe I could reconsider my water source for my next Specialty brew?
-30-
Brew Biz: Werts and All, is a column dedicated to review, discuss and comment on all things beer including, but not limited to: marketing, homebrewing and homebrew/beer related events, how society perceives all things beer. Also: reviews of beer related businesses, opinions about trends in the beer business, and all the various homebrew, judging and organizations related to beer. Essentially, all things “beer.”
©Copyright 2010
Ken Carman and Cartenual Productions
All Rights Reserved
An American Cry for Help
by LT Saloon on Thu, Feb 25, 2010
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Photo: gamera_obscura; Edited: Lance Page / t r u t h o u t
By Keith Olbermann
Finally tonight, a Special Comment about health care reform and tomorrow’s summit at Blair House. If I prove to have trouble getting through this, I apologize in advance. Last Friday night my father asked me to kill him. We were just shy of six months since he was hospitalized and it was the end of a long day at the end of a longer week.
Not to get too clinical or too grotesque on you, but he’d had his colon removed at the end of September and that went so well that it was no more complicated than an appendectomy. But what followed was a series of infections, like storms in the monsoon season, one arriving, blossoming, inundating him, my Dad shaking it off and cheerfully bouncing back, and then within days another one coming in to flatten him once again.
Read the rest and see the video HERE.
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by Professor Good Ales on Sun, Feb 28, 2010
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